Funny Announcements by Southwest Flight Attendants
The article What they don’t tell you in the plane safety demo had a comment:
Jason D
Southwest has the funniest flight atten. One said last week in case our flight should turn into a cruise you have a life vest under your seat.
And this started 111 replies, some of them, with my favorite at the top, are below:
- In an emergency situation, all children, mothers, and fathers will be allowed off the plane first. Lawyers, bankers, and politicans will be the last ones to leave.
- I was on a SW flight once and we had a bumpy landing and the flight attendant came over the loud speaker at the end and apologized. She said it wasnt her fault, it wasnt the pilots fault, it was the asphault.
- If you are traveling with more than one child, start with the one who has more potential or is less likely to put you in the home some day.
- We landed in one city where it took quite some time to taxi from the runway to the gate and at the end the attendant said “Just so you people know, Southwest is able to keep the lowest fairs because we fly you half of the way and drive you the rest.”
- Please take your children and baggage with you. Tomorrow at nine there will be a garage sale where we will sell off all lost items. Your children won’t bring much so we beg you to take them now and not abuse us by making us provide overnight baby sitting.
- Everyone please turn off your electronics if you’re caught with them on you’ll be fined over $300 and we all know that if you could afford that you would’ve flown United.
- Part-way through the oxygen mask safety demo, we had a flight attendant say, “…in case of a sudden loss in cabin pressure, which we’re not anticipating because if we were, none of us would’ve come to work today…”
- If you liked your flight, this was Southwest Airlines 837, with Tim, Sabrina, and Steve. If you did not like your flight, this was United Airlines flight 257 with Tom, Susie, and Rick.
Twitter @curbexcitement
Hilarious!
I love the humor of the SW crews!
On a delayed flight that got in to PIT around 11 pm, “If you are connecting to another flight, it’s too late, you missed it, go home.”
SWA FA at end of flight..
“We thank you for flying Southwest. We know you have many travel choices, but luckily for us you couldn’t afford those.”
I heard that one as well…I wonder if it was the same guy or this is one of the “regulars” that they use.
■Everyone please turn off your electronics if you’re caught with them on you’ll be fined over $300 and we all know that if you could afford that you would’ve flown United.
Their sense of humor definitely makes their flights more bearable. I was on a flight last week when the pilot made the following announcement:
“My wife’s birthday was last weekend. Two days before she told me, ‘Come Saturday morning, there better be something shiny on that driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in under 60 seconds. Know what I mean?’ I told her, ‘Yep, I got ya.’ On Saturday morning she steps out on that driveway. And sitting there is a big, shiny…bathroom scale.” Doesn’t sound as funny on paper, but the whole cabin was cracking up.
On a WN flight from Orlando to BWI in feb I had a great female flight attendant who said several of the same jokes among others. Was great a few others to add:
“smoking is allowed only in the smoking section located out on both wings.”
“thank you “to those of you who listened to this safety briefing, to everyone else good luck”
Upon landing, “ladies and gentleman we do have a special person on board today. It’s his 80th birthday and today was his first time flying. So on your way out congratulate the pilot.”